


Normalcy Lost

by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Manga Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-14
Updated: 2013-11-14
Packaged: 2018-01-01 11:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1044515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles/pseuds/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Levi returns to the cabin in the mountains, home to the new Squad Levi, he is disgusted to find the cleaning efforts subpar. He confronts Eren only to have old painful memories stirred up for both of them. Having lost their 'normal', Levi and Eren take comfort in the only familiar thing they have left: each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Normalcy Lost

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't actually planning to post this week but I got struck by an idea after reading Chapter 51 of SnK, so here you go :)

By the time Levi made it back to the cabin in the mountains, housing the new Special Operations Squad chosen by Levi, it was dark. Connie was half asleep on his horse and Levi sent him into the cabin immediately, leading both of their horses into the tiny stable by himself to untack them. When he made it inside the house was quiet, everyone no doubt asleep. A few lanterns had been kept alight for his arrival, and in the flickering shadows Levi took in the state of the interior.

 

Was this what those brats considered ' _clean_ '? It was a disgrace. Levi swept a hand across the kitchen counter and grimaced when his skin picked up dust and something...sticky. Levi sighed and washed his hands and then headed further into the cabin, extinguishing lanterns as he went. His instinct was to stay up and clean everything properly but he was exhausted from his long trip back, and he had to make sure these twerps understood in the morning that this was _not acceptable_.

 

Levi went to his own room and set his travel pack down. His eyes studied the room critically and he was confused when he found every surface completely spotless. He had been gone long enough that some dirt should've collected in the corners; it was impossible to keep a cabin this far out in nature completely clean. Yet his room was as clean as he had left it.

 

The bed looked inviting but Levi blew out his lantern and left his room again, stepping into the next one down the hall. The lantern wasn't lit in here but there was enough moonlight streaming in through the window for Levi to see that Eren was seated on his bed, back facing the door. "Hey, Eren," Levi barked. "Have you seen the state of this house? It's—"

 

"Filthy," Eren finished for him, voice weak. "I know. I'm so sorry."

 

Eren was still facing away from him but his sniffle gave him away. "Eren..." Levi began uncertainly.

 

"I tried to tell them it was important to clean but they didn't get it," Eren suddenly sobbed. "I just kept thinking about Petra and the others. I wanted you to feel as comfortable as possible when you got here. But I couldn't do it all by myself. I made sure your room was suitable but the rest is..." Eren sobbed quietly into his hands. " _I tried_."

 

Hesitantly Levi moved closer and sat on the edge of the bed. He wasn't accustomed to being in these sorts of situations, offering comfort. But he knew that as important as cleaning properly was for the health of his entire squad, it wasn't worth this sort of strain. "It's... it's fine," he promised. "Don't stress about it." Eren was still crying. Levi could see the tear tracks on his cheeks lit up by the moon. Not knowing what else to do, Levi attempted to joke. "You know I'll whip them into shape tomorrow. I appreciate your effort. Just... stop crying."

 

Eren sniffled and forcefully quietened himself, though his shoulders continued to shake. "I'm sorry. I know it's not even my right to be this upset. You knew your squad long before I did."

 

Levi rested what he hoped was a comforting hand on Eren's shoulder. "It's not a competition about who misses them more."

 

Despite the fact that Eren had tensed when Levi's hand first touched his shoulder, now Eren was relaxing and leaning into it. "I just wanted to try to make things feel normal for you again, but it never will be again. And it's all my fault. If I had turned back to fight sooner—"

 

"Eren, _stop_ ," Levi cut off that train of thoughts before it could spiral out of control. Eren turned red-rimmed eyes to Levi nervously. "I've told you before; none of us know the outcomes of our choices. You made your choice and they made theirs. They chose to fulfil their duty until the very end, and we need to honour their final decision."

 

Eren nodded even as a few more silent tears spilled from his eyes when he blinked. "I just miss them. Even Auruo."

 

Levi chuckled sadly. "I do too."

 

He didn't realize he was crying until Eren brushed a thumb across Levi's cheek to wipe away the tears. "And now you're stuck here with a bunch of brats reminding you of how different everything is."

 

In the dark quiet of Eren's bedroom it was easy to feel relaxed. Eren knew at least a portion of the loss Levi had experience, and shared that burden. Levi didn't need to pretend to be strong in front of Eren, in this moment. The next morning he would be Captain Levi again, ordering his new squad around the cabin like it didn't matter who was cleaning, like he didn't miss the complaints and laughter of his old squad; his old friends. But for now he didn't have to act.

 

Levi caught Eren's hand with his own and laced their fingers together, only sparing a second of thought about what he was actually doing. "I have you, don't I?"

 

Eren looked nervous but his tears were giving way to a warm smile. "Yeah, you'll always have me."

 

"You better keep that promise," Levi warned.

 

"I'll do everything to stay with you," Eren promised, his cheeks turning red in the moonlight. "Captain...?"

 

"I think Levi would be more appropriate now," Levi said and moved closer.

 

It was Eren who actually made the first move, his free hand holding the back of Levi's neck. " _Levi_ ," Eren breathed against his lips a second before kissing him softly. Eren didn't move beyond the brush of their lips and Levi wondered if Eren even knew what to do next. Carefully Levi pushed Eren back onto the mattress and knelt above him. When he was certain that Eren wasn't freaking out, Levi tilted his head and deepened the kiss, locking their lips together solidly.

 

Eren moaned into Levi's mouth and let Levi lead. One of Eren's hands remained on the back of Levi's neck while the other slid down his back, feeling muscles and pulling him closer. Levi willingly settled his weight down on top of Eren, enjoying the way their bodies fit together. He had thought of this many times but it had never felt like the _right_ time. How could Levi pursue a relationship with a soldier in the middle of a war? That was just asking to have his heart wrenched from his chest.

 

Levi wouldn't fool himself into believing that the war was over, or that there wasn't a chance that he could still lose Eren – or even his own life. However, based on the current situation Levi suspected that they had a few months _at minimum_ before any developments would occur; the cities were too volatile now to press for information. Up to this point Levi hadn't made much time for having a life beyond training and fighting. He didn't know how this war would end for any of them, and if these were his last months, then he didn't want to waste them.

 

He kissed Eren for a long time, and nipped Eren's bottom lip to seek entry into his mouth. Levi took his time mapping Eren's mouth with his tongue, and he memorized the sensation of Eren shivering and squirming between Levi's body and the mattress. For the most part Eren seemed content to remain pliant, opening his mouth invitingly and moaning at the teasing brush of Levi's tongue and lips. But the longer they kissed the more confident Eren became, his fingers sneaking beneath Levi's shirt to trace bare skin as he kissed back.

 

Levi could just feel the beginning swell of Eren's erection against his hip, and Levi knew that it wouldn't take much friction for Levi to become fully hard either. Levi was in no hurry though, especially with his body so sore and tired after his long trek to the cabin. He kissed Eren one last time, passionately and with a touch of roughness, and then he rolled over and sprawled out on his back beside Eren on the mattress.

 

Eren immediately rolled over to spoon Levi's side, his eyes seeking Levi's shyly. "Did I do okay?"

 

"Yeah," Levi replied easily, though already he could feel his body calming and growing heavy with sleep. "I just need sleep more than an orgasm."

 

Eren blushed visibly until he tucked his face against Levi's neck. "Are you going to sleep here? What if the others walk in?"

 

"Then they can explain why they were never taught how to clean properly," Levi grumbled. "Grab the damn blankets, will you? It's cold in here," he added to confirm that yes, he was sleeping here.

 

Eren sat up for a moment and when he lay back down beside Levi he brought the blankets with him. Levi remained where he was as Eren tucked the blankets around both their shoulders and then returned to spooning Levi's side. "Hey, Levi...?" Levi grunted to urge Eren to continue, unwilling to bother forming full words. "I kind of wanted to do that for a long time. I didn't think you'd ever... I mean, _do you—_?"

 

"Yes," Levi said. "I do. Now shut up about it."

 

The response he received was a kiss that had Levi's heart stuttering in his chest and a moan clawing up the back of Levi's throat. Exhaustion momentarily forgotten, Levi kissed Eren back hard. Both of their bodies collided as they arched towards each other. Levi was just considering rolling back on top of Eren and introducing him to a few pleasures when Eren broke away from the kiss with a wide yawn, which spurred one of Levi's own in response.

 

Eren grumbled even as they both returned to their original position lying on the mattress. "I wanted..." another yawn cut Eren off.

 

"You don't even know what you want," Levi said as he slid an arm around Eren's shoulders to hold him closer. "I'll have to teach you everything."

 

"I know that I want you," Eren said in return, though he made no move to act on the declaration other than to snake an arm around Levi's waist.

 

" _Sleep_ ," Levi half ordered, half begged. Eren listened, drifting off easily into a light snore and Levi followed promptly behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> **You can check out[here](http://onewhositswiththeturtles.tumblr.com/) to follow my Tumblr for info about me and story updates.**


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